We often times feel as though we need to sugar coat everything. While being tactful is great and a fantastic tool to use, it tends to skip out on the “shock and awe” factor. By “shock and awe,” I’m talking about those instances where you say something that sounds so shocking, it’s as if your words left your mouth, grew hands, flew over to the person you are saying them to, and shook their shoulders awake. You can try to communicate the same message, but if you do so too tactfully, you may miss out on the shock factor; perhaps it won’t shake the person awake, rather, just gently glide along their ear buds and pass through without moving anything.
Now, I am not suggesting rudeness, by any means. There is a very happy medium. When the brain doesn’t have to search through a bunch of words to find meaning, the meaning is much more apparent and graspable.
For instance, I was once watching my Goddaughter, when she starts whining about how bored she is. I respond to her, “that must mean you’re a boring person.” Now, in many circumstances it’s very important to sugar coat things, and many people would argue to me that this circumstance, especially dealing with children, would be one that should be sugar coated.
However, the jaw drop she received from my response was an implication of her shock; of the shoulder shake. She gasped. She walked away. She also never once complained about being bored again, and her parents remarked about her attention span had changed for the better. She refused to be a boring person.
While I agree that gentleness is very important, I’m simply saying that sometimes, by adding a bit of an extra edge (while still being mindful), you can get a message through to someone much more effectively.
